Sightings
The three individuals most closely associated with Kear Stevens have been difficult to locate and even more difficult to identify; hence the fact that we only know them by their first names: Matt, Steve and Jeff. From this point forward, they will be identified as the Kear Stevens Three.
Although these individuals seem to reflexively duck the limelight – eschewing the self-promotion and self-aggrandizement commonly associated with advertising agencies – they have been spotted on random occasions by IPECAAC members and other observant parties.
Below are several photographs taken of the Kear Stevens Three at locations throughout the United States. Please contact IPECAAC if you recognize these individuals or have any additional information on their whereabouts or identities.
With the Dali Lama
The Kear Stevens Three caught escorting the Dali Lama on his last visit to the U.S. Apparently the Lama was unaware of the questionable character of the trio and gave them special insights into the unity of all things.
Bay-to-Breakers Marathon
Here the Kear Stevens Three are disguised as Elvis impersonators at the Bay-to-Breakers annual race in San Francisco. Eyewitnesses have stated that after this picture was taken, they all shared a peanut butter and banana sandwich and chased it down with big glass of buttermilk and a handful of pills.
Emmy Awards Appearance
The three individuals in question spotted in the crowd at the 1997 Emmy Awards ceremony. The photographer tried to wave Barbara Streisand out of the shot, but we all know how much she mugs for the camera.
Onstage with the Village People
The Kear Stevens Three singing with the Village People at Asbury Park in New Jersey. It is rumored that they were filling in for a few sick Peeps, who had apparently come down with food poisoning after an ill-advised coney dog eating contest in Atlantic City.
Mount Rushmore
Taken on a crystal clear day at the base of this famed monument. Although the images of the Kear Stevens Three are not visible to the naked eye, a special camera (equipped with a special lens not unlike night view goggles but, then again, not like them either) was able to show in detail the three hidden likenesses at Rushmore.
Moshing with Punks
Spotted here at a Denver, Colorado, punk music concert, the Kear Stevens Three are apparently in their element as they await (with a group of other creatives) the first crowd surfer to come their way.